Reckless and accident prone

Posted: July 28, 2012 in Head Clearing, Stay At Home Dad

Tonight, my wife, mom and I, were talking about memories of being a kid. Everything I remembered about my child were these big reckless abandon moments. I was a carefree kid who would run head first into almost any situation with a smile on my face. The problem was, that I was also somewhat accident prone. So these memories also centered around injuries that I had sustained. Like the time I slide my bike under a parked dump truck on my knee. Fun times. My mom even said there were many times that she wasn’t sure I’d make it through childhood alive. Let alone with no broken bones at all. But I did.

This brings up several thoughts for me. First off, I’m scared for Max. He’s already showing a reckless side. Plus he’s inherited a double dose of the accident prone part. This will make his childhood very interesting and eventful, I’m sure.

But, it also brings up feelings of the things I’ve lost. Somewhere along the way I lost that reckless part. Worse than that, I replaced it with an extreme fear of doing almost anything remotely dangerous. I’m not even sure when along the way I lost this part. But at some point I stopped putting myself out there. I stopped making friends. I stopped trying new things. I moved into my little box and stayed there. I almost didn’t go out on the first date with my wife, because I was so scared.

It makes me wonder how many things I’ve missed in my life because I’ve been too scared to step out and try. I’m not saying that I want to go back to that total reckless abandon. But I really do wish I hadn’t lost that crazy streak. I think life would be a lot more fun if I were willing to try new things and step outside my little comfortable box once in a while. I might fall down sometimes. But I would at least be moving and hopefully in a forward direction.

  1. Cheryl Cole says:

    Although you can never go back, you can make adjustments moving forward. It sounds like you might be on that path already.

  2. Cheri Shafer says:

    I would love to see you live abundantly as God would have you live!!! You have so much to offer all of us! Keep working on the changes a step or leap at a time! Love you, Mom

  3. Hey Geoff, I had a dream about you this week, and felt like I was supposed to pray for both you and Max. So I have started doing so. Anyway, I had not read your blog yet when I had the dream, but in the dream you kept running out into the street (you were a toddler). So then I read this, and thought that was kind of interesting. Kudos on the blog, by the way. I have tried blogging, but it’s hard for me to write often enough because I always feel like I have to have something earth shaking to say!

    • Thank you for the prayers Linda. We can always use more prayer. I’ve had the same problems with writing a blog. That’s kind of my point in trying to write a little something each day. Hopefully I’ll settle into some kind of pattern after a while. Not sure I can keep this up for very long without boring people.

  4. Leah Cuneo (Culbertson) says:

    I didn’t think I’d have much input until I read this entry (I read backwards from “Pictures From The Flight”), but this one really resonated with me, Geoff. I wouldn’t say that I’m a person that’s ever had trouble meeting people, trying new things, being adventurous, being enthusiastic, or being a cockeyed optimist…that being said, as I get older, the “fear” grows. I think it’s impossible for it to not. We shed the reckless abandon of liberal utopia and realize that it’s not all sunshine and daisies in a real way as we get older. I think it’s the beginning of true wisdom, but that doesn’t make it a wonderful realization. It IS a loss, something to mourn, that loss of the ideal world we saw ourselves in, saw ourselves contributing to, saw ourselves making better. No one ever told us that the “fear” is a real part of being a human being. Would we have believed them if they had? I am not one to wantonly jump into new friendships as I used to be, I am no longer the party animal with the magnetism to draw people to me (in fact, I’m sort of a wallflower now), and spontaneous adventures must now be planned at least one week in advance with a guaranteed option of cancellation… Good grief, what happened to us? Remember Deer Creek Park at Christmas? Talk about reckless abandon! Even now when I think about you, I remember that little boy with the endless energy, boundless laughter, and zest for excitement! It was so easy to be those happy, go-lucky kids (especially with rad parents like ours)… Those feelings of excitement and adventure are still there – I feel them periodically, I think – but now it takes more work to coax them out, more courage to succumb to abandon, and more stamina to ignore that conservative scardy-cat nagging us in the backs of our heads… I didn’t mean to write quite so much, sorry. I just wanted you to basically know that however you’ve changed, there are qualities that you have now in abundance that you could only have wished for as a reckless child. Don’t knock yourself, dude, to be an adult is to BE fearful, the list is never ending really, but every once in a while, don’t forget to grab a skate board and go skin your knees… I know… I probably wont either, all those germs…

    • Thank you Leah. It’s nice to hear from others that have some of the same feelings. It really is a strange thing to grow older isn’t? You look back on how things used to be, and try to figure out how you did all those things. They seem like someone else’s memories.