Archive for the ‘depression’ Category

The darkness

Posted: January 19, 2013 in depression

The darkness is coming. I can feel it building up inside of me. After a long week of being sick, I forgot to take my pills this morning, and I can feel it rising in me.
It doesn’t help that I’m waiting to hear on a job interview I had last weekend. It doesn’t help that I’ve been sick most of the week. It doesn’t help that the kids seem to be going crazy too. But I can feel it building.
Just this nagging feeling inside of me. This urge to run away. To hide. To escape this chaos.
My head is pounding and the pressure is rising.
Not sure what to do anymore.
I’m supposed to be getting ready to go to the store. But instead I’m sitting on my bed nearly in tears. It’s all I can do to finish getting dressed and go back out the door. It’s all I can do to walk back out into the land of screaming kids and tired frustrated parents that has been my house lately.
It’s at this moment that it dawns on me that I haven’t taken my pills yet. It’s 5:00 pm. Probably should do that.
Maybe that’ll help.
Maybe not.
All I know is that I’ve got to try.
It’s hard for me to face somedays.
It’s hard for me to open my eyes sometimes.
But there’s a Spider-Man out there that’s calling for his monster or his Superman, depending on his mood.
There’s a princess calling for her knight.
There’s a beautiful wife waiting for her husband.
So, I try my best.
Some days that’s not very good.
Most days lately it hasn’t been worth much.
But I’m trying.
And that’s all I have to give.